SHOP THE LOOK
“Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others”
“you can’t repair others if you’re broken yourself”
“don’t run faster than you have strength”
These sayings are old news for most. Maybe you even skimmed over them the whole time thinking “yeah,yeah I already know that”
Well if you know them so well, do you apply them? Probably not, and you wouldn’t be alone. This doesn’t make you a bad person, but it doesn’t make you a better person either….just an exhausted, overstretched person.
By never being kind to yourself or allowing yourself some ‘you’ time, you’re basically saying to yourself that you’re not worthy enough to feel good. Well HELLO! How on earth do you expect to be happy or to help uplift others when you don’t feel uplifted. All humans need to be recharged, nurtured, loved and especially loved-including loved by yourself-because you are the only one stuck with you for forever and eternity. I use to have a problem of thinking that by taking time for myself-like turning on a show for the kiddos so I could do my hair-I was being selfish and a terrible mother. But then I learned that there is a difference between selfish and self interest.
Self Interest is essential for your survival, happiness and well being. It’s taking action for the things that interest you or bring you joy
Selfishness is concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
So back to putting on a distraction for my kids while I do my hair
–When I do my hair I feel neat and well groomed, I feel happy and attractive, which makes me feel good about myself and enthusiastic about the rest of my busy day. In turn, this unavoidably influences the way I interact with others. How is this bad, or selfish? How does this make me a bad person? Well it doesn’t. And it doesn’t make any other mother a bad person if they want to do their make-up, take an extra long shower-or shower at all lol-and so on. Now it could be considered selfish if I were to insist on doing my hair if my little ones were crying because of hunger, or if they were hurt and needed my help…you get the idea.
Point being take care of yourself so that you can take care of others.
3 WAYS TO TAKE CARE OF AND NURTURE YOURSELF
1-) LEARN TO SAY “NO”—You are not a bad person for saying “no” to something. This doesn’t mean be self centered or withholding. Serving and helping others is good. Just know your limits and stop feeling like you need to rescue every body. Knowing your limits takes practice with trial and error. Someone close to me is constantly serving (which is wonderful) but sometimes they would go to the extent of helping others that their own children wouldn’t get dinner or had to fend for themselves to get rides to things etc. You’re not Wonder Women…she doesn’t exist. Being human is a beautiful thing. Don’t beat yourself up for being human.
2-) ADMIT IT—Get in front of the mirror and look yourself in the eyes, then say out loud “What can i do for you today?” or “How can I make you happy today?” What thoughts come up. The awesome thing about mirrors is that they’ve been proven to manifest the truth in your consciousness almost immediately.
3-) DO IT—Know that you know what would honestly make you happy. Do it. Is that reading a book. Seeing a friend. Skipping out on chores for once. Just being alone at home doing nothing? Then do it. Put on a show for the kids and read a book for an hour. Go visit your friend. Just let the dishes stay for one day and order take out. Get a baby sitter or swap with another mama friend and have the house to yourself. You’ll be amazed at the amount your able to recharge and the extra enthusiasm about motherhood and life you’ll get after taking care of yourself. And most important
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY after all this is done. You ARE a good person. You ARE doing a favor for your family and friends by taking care of yourself. You DO deserve being and feeling loved and taken care of.
“Think thoughts that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make you feel good. Eat things that make your body feel good. Go at a pace that makes you feel good.”